Ambra Baldwin Hart hams it up with her two boys, ages 12 and 9 during a family photo shoot. The younger child, age 9 is held “wheelbarrow” style, while the other child, age 12, laughs at Mom’s antics.
At Tiny Seeds we believe that all children deserve to be loved and supported through positive interactions with their families, their caregivers, and their educators. As such, one of the resources we utilize to inform our best practices is Positive Discipline.
Positive Discipline was developed by Dr. Jane Nelson and Lynn Lott. It draws off of the principles of Dr. Alfred Adler and Dr. Rudolf Dreikurs. Adler and Dreikurs developed their theories of positive parenting in the 1920s and at the time, they were revolutionary. Dr. Jane Nelson and Lynn Lott utilized the same principles of Dreikurs and Adler to develop a program that parents could utilize to develop positive and meaningful connections and relationships with their children.
There are five main criteria to Positive Discipline.
It is both kind and firm at the same time. Tools utilized under the “Positive Discipline” umbrella are respectful and encouraging while maintaining boundaries and limits that children need to feel supported and safe.
It helps children feel a sense of belonging and significance. Adler and Dreikurs identified this as a core need of children (and really, all people if you think about it) back in the 1920s and 1930s. Children need to feel a sense of connection with the caring adults in their lives.
Positive Discipline is effective long-term. What the child is thinking, feeling, learning and deciding is considered as well as how to move forward in order to thrive. The skills that are built are not only effective in the immediate, but develop a strong foundation for future social/emotional skills and growth.
It teaches important social and life skills such as respect, concern for others, problem solving, communication, and cooperation. Challenges that we see in our child’s behavior can be seen as opportunities to grow important life skills. If we shift our mindset from what is going wrong to what values we hope to instill, we can effectively utilize tools that promote the growth positve social skills.
Positive Discipline invites children to discover how capable they are. If, as parents or care givers, we can help a child use their personal powers “for good not evil” they can see what a positive impact they have on the world around them. Something as simple as having your child help with laundry or meal prep can give a sense of power and autonomy that will develop into a “can do” attitude as your child grows.
There are many ways these criteria are put into practice. Some things may be as simple as involving your child in the day to day happenings of your household or asking them about what’s next in a daily routine. Other tools may be more in-depth, involving a deeper level of connection. The practices of Positive Discipline are many and varied to be utilized as your parenting journey changes and evolves. What worked yesterday may not work tomorrow, or next week…. You and your child are ever-changing in who you are as individuals as well as who you are together as a unit. As such, it’s important to remember that your parenting practices need to be fluid and malleable.
If you want to deepen your parenting practice and gain more tools for your toolbox, consider joining Tiny Seeds as we learn and grow together. We offer a variety of parenting programs including in-person group sessions, virtual group sessions, or individual/family support. Are you a teacher or caregiver? We can help strengthen your positive practices within your setting as well!
More information about Positive Discipline can be found at www.positivediscipline.org.